Elazar the Hero

Every Jew knows the story of Chanuka. But they probably don't know the real story involving Elazar the Maccabee being the hero. This version begins near the end of the war with the Greeks. The Maccabees were surrounded by a huge army of Greeks and elephants. Elazar noticed that there was a decorated elephant carrying the big general of the army. Without regarding his life, he went right under the elephant and stabbed its belly. Unluckily, Elazar died of an elephant crushing him. One week later, Judah the Maccabee proclaimed victory over the Greeks. It's preposterous that Judah should get all the fame. What did Judah do to deserve all the distinction? It's like an audition for a play. The better actor gets the part that they're auditioning for. But if Judah was alive today, he would've bribed the judges and got the role. I would be so angry if someone cheated against me. In the Simpsons, Mr. Burns always bribes people to keep shut. Because the person is greedy, he takes the bribe. Certainly, Elazar is the real hero and Judah isn't. We are all in debt to Elazar.

It's Not Fair!

Lunch recess indoors is not always fun or fair. Just today all of grade 6 room 204 was kept in for 20 out of the 25 minutes we have for free time. The students who are ready to go up and the last class are complaining about: monitors picking the children who are ready and an observation that I made. First of all, the monitors should pick the students who are ready to ascend the stairs. Instead, the head supervisor called class by class by class. That means that if one person from the whole class isn't ready, the whole class waits. It's students that deserve going upstairs who should go. Many kids are ready to go up, but their class is last to be called. The longer they wait, the more they will get bored. The more the children get bored, the more they will misbehave. Next, there has been a repetition of which class goes last. My observations throughout 3¼years show that it's always the lowest number room that goes first and the highest number room goes last. In grade 5, I was in room 207; highest number class of grade 5. At indoor lunch recess we were always last to go up. What did the kids do to deserve to go last? It's obvious. They are in the highest number room. Certainly, the head supervisor and his boss should change the rules so that the right people get their recess. How would you feel if you were punished collectively?

Sad Halloween!

Since last year, I don't go trick-or-treating. There are some actions that happened a long time ago that you should know before you go out.

First of all, Halloween is a witch hunting holiday in origins. In the far past, many people burned anybody who were suspected of being witches. In reality, they were medicine women. How would you feel to be burned? I would feel that people were prejudging me. Moreover, I wouldn't have time to voice my opinion. You must remember that witches were tied up and burned at the stake. Fortunately, this persecution doesn't continue today.

Equally important is that all Jews were believed to be witches. All of them. People would storm into a Jewish town, break their houses and burn them. After those Jews were burned, the angry mob would steal that person's possessions. Every person in the world wouldn't want this to happen to themselves. Many Jews lost their wives, husbands and children in this sad period of history.

Obviously, Halloween is not a holiday to be happy. People should not say the greeting "Happy Halloween" anymore. It's not fair to the people who were killed. Make the choice. Don't say "Happy Halloween".

Don't the Autumn Leaves smell good?

In Montréal the answer for anybody would be no. Because of the warm and moist weather, all the leaves are starting to rot. When leaves start to decay, they give off a bad aroma. The smell of the leaves is worse then 100 skunks put together. Because of the wind, the smell spreads across the whole city. I'm sure that many people are thinking about the odour. If you smell or smelled it please tell me about it by leaving a comment at the end of this blog post. I blame this aroma on global warming and the way that humanity is responsible for speeding up this environmental catastrophe. We can't stop global warming but we can slow it down. The warmer weather provides an excellent scenario for the leaves to rot. People might die because of this smell. For example, you won't be able to smell a gas leak after opening a window because the smell of decomposing leaves will mask the smell of dangerous gas. So don't open your window, and save yourself from suffocating in gas leaks by doing your part to combat global warming.

D(Duck)-Day

Jake has arrived! He's all nice and new with extra fur. There are many good things about being new; and some bad things. As I said in The Search for Jake, the new Jake the duck will never be the same to my brother and I as the old original Jake. Having a new version of my friend Jake the duck is not as satisfying as having the original worn down duck, but it is better than having no duck at all. All the same human beings always want more (with a few exceptions at certain times, like at a party when you're overwhelmed with too many presents). Therefore, I still want the old Jake.

"Radar!" When you hear this word you probably think of a submarine off on a mission to torpedo an enemy ship, but the only way to find its target is with radar. When I heard the word "radar" I used to think that too. But things are different now. Radar is a stuffed manufactured bat whose name is a palindrome. If you're thinking that naming a bat Radar is crazy, then think again! What do bats have that make them special. That's it: echolocation, like radar. Whichever way you think of it, radar makes animals and ships special.